While sharing your story of how you grieved, it’s helping me along my journey, too. Thank you. No matter what life may throw your way, ask God to keep your heart soft, never allow it to be hardened.
For nothing can grow in a hardened heart.
I closed my eyes, asked God to help prepare my heart, and took a few deep breaths before playing the song I have never heard before, In God’s Time, by Randy Houser. A friend sent it the day I shared about our miscarriage.
In God’s timing, my husband and I look forward to starting a family soon, but for right now, it’s allowing space to simply grieve.
It’s easy to wish away the pain, except that is exactly where He meets us the most. And that is where I am now.
After sharing about going into labor four weeks after the baby’s heart stopped beating, it was then I could hear how others grieved.
“Some of the things that helped me grieve healthily is to quit holding back tears. The more I cried, the more I faced reality of the situation, the more I talked about it, and let it flow with people who love me, the better and better I felt.” – Carrie.
In less than a week, at least a dozen friends have shared their own story. I must admit that hearing their stories are helping me grieve my own. So thank you, to each of you that has shared and encouraged me.
“My miscarriage really helped me learn to trust Him. Funny how that works, huh? I don’t think I even slightly fathomed the concept of ‘in my weakness, He is strong” until then. I’ve never felt so broken or dead inside, but he brought me back to life. And now, when I wonder about that little life, I like to imagine him or her snuggling up and reading books with Grandpa in Heaven. It brings me peace and makes me smile.”- Beth
The tears began streaming to hear Beth’s faith; to hear how God brought her through a time where she had never felt so broken or dead, but then felt brought back to life. Many of us get stuck in that place of being broken or feeling dead, but don’t work through trusting to come out on the other side, and simply remain there, in that place of untrust, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness. The list goes on. But to hear my old friend I haven’t seen in years share the LIFE of coming out by trusting Him.
I remember years ago asking God to show me the beauty in suffering, and now He is showing me the beauty through grief. The stories I am hearing, the feelings I am feeling all may hurt, but all so beautiful.
I want to be in the presence of God and walk through the place of brokenness and grief instead of skipping over it.
“It is just a pain that we have to go through. You can’t go around it and you can’t shortcut it.”- Maggie
Maggie encouraged me that it was ok to hurt, and it’s ok to love someone you never knew. That grieving for your child is an expression of love.
It is an expression of love to grieve? I never thought about it that way, but continued to help me through my own journey. To simply be ok to grieve.
After many years of walking through inner healing and helping others through theirs, I should know better not to try to skip over this one. The healing power of Jesus is in the present, not trying to fast forward.
Thank you for all your love, prayers, encouragement, and your own stories, for it’s helping us seek God even more. He does have a bigger plan beyond our own and we will not lose faith.