A Prayer When it Hurts

Heavenly Father, I praise you and thank you. It is another season of some pain, but its again during the pain where I grow, where my character is developed, it’s where I run closer to you and cling to you. Its where I need your deep and inner truths in my spirit and mind more than ever before.

The ways of this world are so easily distracting and deceitful, but your ways are pure. May I draw nearer to you and put aside what does not matter.

I got to see dad honored in a way people only dream of being honored. His honor comes from you, serving you and living humbly and selflessly for you. You pulled everything together, and none of us can take credit for the benefit dinner that took place to honor him. People poured in with tears and pour out with love. People came together for one purpose: to love and honor a selfless man.

That man is my dad.

There is no doubt this absolutely hurts, but God, you do things for your good and your glory. I see your good in this pain. I see dad for who he is more than ever before, and I see the courage you have been weaving in him since he was a young boy; a victim of an alcoholic mother and abuse. Thank you, Jesus, for you replaced the love that mother never gave.

Although the Lou Gerhigs Disease makes it challenging more everyday to stand, he’s walking me down the aisle in 13 days. Lord, I know it’s not fair and others are so angry they want to punch you and curse you, but life is not about being fair.

You have a bigger purpose here, and it is unfolding as painful as it is for something even sweeter our minds can’t wrap our minds around. Let us hold onto that hope. Give dad that courage to continue standing in his spirit and soul for the truth you have cultivated in him.

Who we really are, is when we are stripped of who we think we are, and then we are left with the rawness. Its not about appearance, class, status, abilities. It’s about knowing a deeper truth of who we are, and finding it through you, not any self-help book or self-discovery, but through you. Dad has always been known as a pillar of strength for everyone. As the disease strips away his physical strength, it will never strip away the rawness of the strength that will always remain, because that is part of the core of who he really is.

(Written June 30th, the day after community and long time friends from Robinson Memorial Hospital and Portage Community Chapel helped plan and serve his benefit dinner and raffle.  More than ever, seeing how much community/family makes a difference, and we could have never done this alone. Thankful for everyone that poured out selflessly to serve, plan, support, honor him. Thank you all for being family.)


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