Deeper People, Not Smarter People

“Where there is gold, there is a gold digger,” are the lyrics of the folk band Dashboard Confessionals that I hurried to turn up loud as the guy that sat next to me using his near proximity wobbly table as his office making business calls. He seemed new in business as he spoke loud for us all to know he was conducting business. Maybe he wanted us to know he was important, or to feel important, or maybe like me that I can’t concentrate at my desk at home. I wanted to turn the volume up louder but the risk of ear drum damage was already high.

I love Stauf’s Coffee Shop in Grandview Heights. It is one of a kind with its rickety hardwood floors that students, professionals, and full-time chess players move tables around to suit their personal space the best. Evidently Columbus’s up and coming business professionals made it their office here, like I often do.

This is my favorite part of town. It has a bit of an enchanting vibe of artists and boutiques, which is why I chose this area to open my studio spa for Massage Therapy. It makes me feel European, like its perfectly acceptable to wear a dress and pedal a thrift store bicycle around the neighborhood.

Distracted by the sound of one of the servers wearing his cowboy boots and women pounding each step in their pumps, all seemed to echo the building and rattle my head. I turned to DJ Breez electronic mix from Elevation Church, North Carolina that would suit me better to not have room in between beats to hear near by conversations or business calls. The stomping seemed to quiet out of my distracted mind.

It would be nice to have an office to be free of distractions, but unfortunately my desk is two feet from my bed. I think the pillows developed voices to lure me under the blankets for naps that became more of a distraction that kept me from writing completely, while being at Stauf’s I could at least write in the beat of DJ Breez. It’s ok, I can’t exactly expect people to know I’m trying to concentrate.

It has been a while since I’ve posted, but its been a labyrinth of life that I have been embracing that kept me from blogging. I am thrilled to see pieces come together as I work to publish my first book, so I have committed Mondays and Fridays to writing to see that goal in motion instead of some wishful thinking. I was thrown for a loop last night because at the same time I am writing and self-publishing, I am also managing my own massage studio, three websites, training to go pro this summer in NPC figure national championships, meal preparing, wellness coaching, maintaining relationships, being connected with my boyfriend, going through an intense 14-week inner healing program that demands an hour a day, preparing a business plan, and allowing time for myself to rest and seek God through this “labyrinth.”

My personal relationship with God and the healing I have been going through has been the utmost priority. How can I be used to help others on their healing journey if I am not walking out the walk myself?

When I originally was inspired for my first published work, I was determined to use a reoccurring nightmare I had throughout my life as Chapter One and to finish with the last chapter with a life changing dream. The meat of my book is simply sharing my life, overcoming hurts, lies, and trauma while pursuing truth, in a non-religious perspective in hopes to inspire others in their own walks and healing. Last night I was thrown for a loop because the chapters are about to be rearranged, to begin with a dream instead of the nightmare.

I guess its good to begin with dreams. Any expert was once a novice, any professional was once an amateur, so why not start dreams?

I attended the Vineyard Church of Columbus Sunday morning, instead of the usual Heritage Christian Church where I have been attending with Andy, to be tremendously encouraged not only by Rich Nathan’s message on the power of Zoe (Greek for spiritual life), but the fact I met with an inspiring author, Richard Foster, that birthed within me the need and desire for depth in a new way.

At least I thought it was him. I remember taking home with me a few years ago that important truth, that this world does not need smarter people, but we need deeper people. I took ownership of that concept, to be willing to go deeper. I couldn’t find where that quote came from. I swore it was Richard Foster’s work, The Celebration of Discipline, but when I skimmed through the book a second time, it was nowhere to be found. Nor could I find it online. Someone deserved some credit for this inspiration of more depth that was birthed in me and has been cultivating and growing ever since. I crave such depth and conversations.

I had no idea the author was in town and teaching a leadership conference tonight. I think I squealed with excitement to have the honor to sit under such wisdom and depth.

I was slightly embarrassed to meet him, for this was, of course, the one day I didn’t leave the gym in time and my hair was still wet and drying all frizzy and out of control, and threw on clothes that kinda made sense until I realized how much of a hippy I looked like in my leopard print baggy top, feather necklaces, blue hair that was trying to dry, and even my leather moccasins. Can’t believe I left the house like that, but good thing I came to worship and not walk a runway.

Vineyard is such a big congregation I hoped to go unnoticed in my attire (like I should worry anyways!), but not when someone like Richard Foster enters the building. I smiled as I waited patiently after the service while Rich talked with him about different places to grab lunch, and people approached him with cameras exclaiming how much they love his book. Seeing his long grey hair to the middle of his back, tied back with a silver barrette and turquoise stones. I didn’t expect him to be…. like me in a sense, creative with his style which gave me a sense of relief. I love connecting with artsy people.

He was genuine with his handshake and present while we engaged which impressed me even more. Since I’m writing a book, I come across so many unknown territories and dared to ask for advice on publishing dealing with particular industries. He was thorough and I took notes on my iphone so I wouldn’t forget the company he mentioned. I loved that he laughed with a specific concern that I have and knew what I was referring to.  “Thank you Richard, and another thing, there is this quote that is deep in my heart that has changed my life. I thought it was you, but when I skimmed Celebration of Discipline and even searched online, it was nowhere to be found.”

He continued to be engaged as I asked, “Was it you that said, ‘We need deeper people, not smarter people?’ Or was that somebody else?”

He leaned in, smiled, and said, “Yes, it’s in the very first paragraph talking about superficiality…”

I was so happy to find my long-lost, life-changing quote and its author! I was experiencing my own little celebration in this very moment.

His wife Carolynn joined and it was delightful to meet her, remembering how much he honored her in his Acknowledgments of the book. Such a beautiful and peaceful couple to have the honor of knowing and speaking with even for just a short time that really added to inspire me to finish my book with passion and authenticity. Even more so, to see such individuals carry a countenance of being like the Jesus that I know, who speaks more with his actions than words.

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